Empty Nest? Time to Spread Your Wings!

Sending your youngest child off to college this fall likely left you with a blend of emotions. Pride at their independence. Sadness at the loss of their daily presence. And maybe just a smidge of excitement for some "me time" after years of catering to their every need.

But now that the initial empty nester adjustment period is ending, you may feel like something is missing. The constant chaos of parenting has vanished, along with some of the meaning and purpose you derived from your role as a mom. Now what?

I've been there before, and let me tell you: while the initial adjustment can feel jarring, an empty nest ultimately presents an amazing opportunity to rediscover yourself. This transition can mark the start of an exciting new chapter, a chance to reclaim your passions and pursue long-held dreams.

The empty nest means reclaiming your life! It's time to remember what makes you tick outside of parenting roles.

The Initial Empty Nest Adjustment Feels Lousy, But It Gets Better

That first month after the departure of your youngest (or only) was rough, wasn't it? Coming home to a quiet house, staring at their empty rooms. You found yourself standing in the grocery aisle on the verge of tears because you no longer had to buy their favorite cereal. And laundry has lost all meaning without those muddy jerseys and hoodies to wash.

But take heart: the sadness and uncertainty do fade. You establish a new normal. And you realize just how much you've missed being your own person outside of being someone's mom. The truth is, who you truly are exists within you–outside of the roles you've played for so long. And while all of us midlife professional mothers refer to it as an 'empty nest,' your life is much more than that.

Wait, Who Am I Again?

Parenting has a way of consuming your entire identity. But with the kids out of the house, you're suddenly left wondering: who is that woman in the mirror staring back at me? Who is she outside of being a mom? And what does she like to do for fun?

Now that you're an empty nester, it's time for some much-needed self-reflection. What were your passions and dreams before you had kids? What brings you joy and contentment outside of parenting? Don't expect to know the answers automatically. You might have to try new hobbies and activities to reacquaint yourself with your interests.

Consider an empty nest your chance to hit the reset button. Experiment, get creative, and pursue whatever sparks curiosity or excitement. Sign up for an art class, join a yoga studio, or volunteer at an animal shelter. Learn to play guitar or speak Italian. Train for a 10K if you've always wanted to get into running.

Now is not the time to put yourself last or merely fill the void by serving others. You matter. How do you want to spend your time? What feeds your soul now that you're no longer absorbed with packing lunches and shuttling to games?

Career Changes - Your Time to Shine

Many women step back from their careers or switch to part-time roles when they have young kids at home. Now, with an empty nest, you finally have the time and flexibility to dive fully into the working world.

This is the perfect time to consider polishing that resume and flexing those networking muscles. This is your ideal chance to go after the job you've always dreamed about or gain skills in a brand-new field.

You don't need to let age or outdated experience hold you back. Play up your maturity, judgment, and work ethic. Learn relevant skills through classes or certifications. With kids out of the house, you can take on projects that require late nights or frequent travel.

And for you professionals already established in your career, an empty nest presents exciting opportunities for growth and advancement. Without the constraints of parenting duties, you can take on more challenging projects, work longer hours to get ahead, or pursue that promotion or leadership role. This is your chance to crush it in your profession!

Whatever your new professional endeavors, approach interviews with confidence. Use examples of leadership, multitasking, conflict resolution, and other real-world skills you sharpened as a parent. Highlight how you took the initiative to grow and contribute even when sidelined at home with kids.

Many companies value experienced professionals who bring a fresh perspective. Don't assume opportunities aren't out there – create them! And if you're seeking entrepreneurial endeavors like launching a small business, now's the time to make it happen.

Relationship Changes - Grow Together, Not Apart

They say couples either grow together or grow apart when the kids leave home. Without a buffer, issues hidden beneath the chaos of childrearing bubble to the surface.

My advice? Tackle problems head-on through open communication. Share feelings honestly but without blame. Respect your differences while seeking compromise.

Most importantly, nurture intimacy in this new phase of life together. Continue going on dates, giving each other undivided attention without distractions. Explore new places and try new activities, from cooking classes to camping trips. Rediscover what initially drew you to each other before having kids.

This is also an ideal time to strengthen your friendships. Plan regular outings with friends to foster critical social connection during this midlife transition. Surround yourself with positive people who share your current interests, not just mom friends from the past.

Coping with Empty Nester Emotions and Change

I won't sugarcoat it – the empty nest transition is often fraught with difficult emotions like sadness, anxiety, restlessness, and fear of the unknown.

Within the first year of sending your youngest off to college, you may grapple with a loss of purpose or regret over never being present enough when the kids were home. Nights alone might intensify feelings of mom guilt and loneliness.

First, know you aren't alone. What you're experiencing is normal. Practical coping strategies can help, like regular exercise, consuming less alcohol, and carving out meaningful activities.

Connect with other moms walking this path, whether in person or online. Consider joining a support group to share stories and advice. And don't hesitate to seek professional counseling if emotions become overwhelming.

Most importantly, be gentle with yourself. Honor the bittersweet feelings while also embracing exciting new possibilities. View this time as a fresh start rather than an ending. The best is yet to come!

Moving Forward - Spreading Your Wings as an Empty Nester!

Take it from me: the empty nest stage can be one of life's most transformative. As one chapter closes, an exciting new blank book lies before you.

What next chapter will you write? How will you reinvent yourself and rediscover purpose? Don't dwell on who you were before kids. Focus on who you can become next.

If the unknown feels daunting, start with small steps. List goals and brainstorm steps to reach them. Maintain self-care routines like healthy eating, sufficient sleep, and regular exercise to boost mental health. Carve out time for self-reflection through journaling, long walks, or meditation.

And remember, it's not only okay but essential to ask for support when needed. Confide in trusted friends and family members. Seek guidance from a counselor or therapist – they provide judgment-free expertise to help navigate transitions.

In my practice, I offer personalized counseling and support for women going through major life changes and transitions, like empty nesters. Please reach out if you need an empathetic ear and expert advice during this time of adjustment.

No matter what comes next – exciting career moves, new hobbies, travel adventures, or all of the above – spread your wings and soar! The possibilities at midlife truly are endless. This is YOUR time.