Boost Your Confidence with EDMR: Start Taking Up Space and Taking Your Life Back
“I’ll just fail anyway, why even try?”
“They can’t possibly mean to congratulate me, I never do anything right.”
“I’m such a problem.”
“It’s too much, I can’t do it. Stupid!”
Do any of these thoughts sound familiar? They’re the thoughts of someone struggling with self-esteem, with their sense of how much value they have as a person. They’re also often the thoughts of someone who needs to delve into healing their trauma.
Unprocessed trauma can hurt self-esteem
Trauma can shrink a person. Being shut, and fearful of expressing yourself or being noticed, is a coping mechanism for someone dealing with the fallout from trauma. While your brain is trying to keep you safe, however, you can lose who you really are. Trauma can shatter self-esteem, making it hard to care about yourself and to put yourself out into the world. It can make it hard to even really know who you are, as your self-image can end up molded by so many outside influences that knowing the real you can feel out of the question.
Women in particular are given a barrage of messages throughout their lives on how to be this, that, or the other, in order to be considered worthy of being cared about. Coupling that constant messaging with unprocessed trauma can lead to low confidence in yourself. Self-esteem isn’t just a buzzword, it’s a critical part of understanding who you are and how you navigate the world, and having low self-esteem can have broad-reaching consequences.
Impacts of low self-esteem from trauma
Having a low opinion of yourself can hold you back from so many things. You may find yourself dealing with relationship failures, putting up with poor treatment from others, or constant negative self-talk. You might consider any small issue a catastrophe, or you might be aggressive and angry toward other people you think might be slighting you. You might be a perfectionist toward yourself, or be so shut-down you’re unwilling to try things. Judgment from other people can loom large in your decision-making process, making it impossible for you to be satisfied or to feel safe.
With all these possible struggles, it’s no wonder that working on self-confidence can be a key component of trauma healing. That said, you may find yourself at a loss as to how to be more confident, especially while still dealing with unhealed trauma that is holding you back from being all you want to be. You know you want better for yourself, but where should you start?
How to be more confident, with EMDR
EMDR therapy can be a valuable tool in the process of healing your trauma. EMDR is a style of trauma therapy that asks you to use therapist-guided bilateral stimulation (tapping both sides of your body, holding buzzers, or moving your eyes side to side) while processing traumatic memories. EMDR can be key to reducing the impacts of trauma, as it gets to the root of your trauma by tackling memories of traumatic events themselves.
The bilateral stimulation pulls you out of the triggering, all-consuming reaction to the memory, anchoring you in the present while you process. You’ll shift how your mind stores and relates to the memory through reprocessing, reducing the impact the memory has. You can better understand that you didn’t deserve to be traumatized, shifting your direct and indirect impressions of yourself as they relate to the traumatic memory.
EMDR therapy and self-confidence
EMDR therapy is a unique type of trauma therapy in that it involves a great deal of introspection, with additional guidance and support through the processing of specific memories with your therapist. It can loosen the emotional hold that traumatic memories have on you, releasing you from their negative, self-limiting beliefs. Reprocessing those memories and storing them without all the collateral messaging can reduce the impact triggers can have on you.
When you’ve alleviated the immense strain that trauma can have on you, you can start to rebuild your self-esteem. You can work from a place of stability, believing in your ability to do things, and believing you will succeed. And even when you don’t succeed, you aren’t defined by your failures, and through self-compassion, you can admit they’re just part of the process. You can find things you enjoy, as you’ll be less beaten down by internalized expectations around them. You can start to relate to people more easily, finding good people to surround yourself with as you work to break patterns of accepting poor treatment.
Your willingness to risk normal levels of judgment, failure, and uncertainty in order to grow as a person will increase; you’ll find yourself more able to release perfectionism, try new things to expand your existence in the world. You may find yourself developing a personal style, an interest in putting yourself out in the world more, and overall growing as a person in a self-directed way that shows you have confidence in yourself.
reimagine her therapy can support your trauma-healing journey
At Reimagine Her Therapy, we know that self-esteem is key, but that it can take practice to grow your appreciation of yourself. We offer EMDR therapy as a way to ease the impacts of traumatic memories in your life, allowing your whole, genuine self to flourish.
We can work with you to develop self-acceptance that will let you be all of yourself, authentically and fully. Reducing your anxiety and fear so you can take up space will always be a worthy goal. If you are located in IL, TX, SC, or FL, and want to grow your self-esteem with us, feel free to schedule a free consultation with Robin today.
