The Art of Reinventing Yourself: Midlife Transitions & Finding Your Purpose
The shift that happens to us in middle adulthood is certainly one the of biggest changes in our lives outside of leaving home for the first time or bringing children into the family. This change is disorienting in that we rarely expect it to affect us the way it does. Like all changes, it’s at this threshold of beginnings and endings where we find grief, longing, fear, regret, excitement, and new opportunities. Most people are familiar with the term “midlife crisis” to encapsulate this age, but we believe that the term “midlife transition” is more appropriate.
This stage of life being called a crisis is considered to be a myth by some professionals but if you’ve been there, you may disagree. Are you looking for new ways to understand your life and break through the stagnancy of midlife? Let’s look together at the power of purpose, and how therapy for midlife transitions can help you recapture your sense of self.
What is a Midlife Transition?
This phase of life is often reduced to the stereotype of an impulsive divorce or when a man buys a motorcycle or sports car. However, it is just another normal phase of life. It can begin as early as 37 or late into our 50s. During this phase of life, people start to evaluate their lives, goals, and priorities more closely. While midlife transitions are not a disease disorder, or something to recover from, there are some predictable trends we can point to that are common to men and women in middle adulthood.
Some symptoms of a midlife transition are:
Feeling sad or a lack of confidence, especially after a big milestone accomplishment or birthday
Feeling bored; Loss of meaning or purpose in life
Feeling unfulfilled
Feelings of nostalgia
Excessively thinking about the past
Making impulse actions
Feelings of regret
Constantly comparing yourself to others
In women, these symptoms may be made worse because of menopause
In men, emotions may present as anger or irritation
While midlife transitions are normal, the potential for depression and anxiety begs that we take caution in this life stage. When symptoms of depression or anxiety are present, seeking treatment and assistance with your life changes may be needed. Life changes can be hard to deal with, but they can also be opportunities for growth and rebuilding.
What Triggers Our Sense of Urgency in Midlife?
If you’re curious whether you’re experiencing your own midlife transition, we invite you to compare notes with what we’ve seen in our clients. We’ve compiled a list of some of the concerns that arise during this phase of life.
Again, everyone is different, but there are some common transitions that people struggle with:
Career Changes: A layoff, job loss, or the need for a career change during this age bracket can be a lot to handle, depending on your financial standing and responsibility load.
Health Concerns: As you age, you may experience more health issues than you did in your youth. It’s a reminder that you are aging, which is tough for some people to accept.
Empty Nest: If most of your life has been dedicated to raising your children, once they leave, you could feel a sense of loneliness and as though you lack purpose without that constant responsibility.
Death or Illness of a Parent: Losing a parent physically or mentally takes a huge toll on a person. It is a life-changing event.
Relationship Changes: There may be lulls in physical intimacy during this time. Or the relationship may change after the kids leave the nest.
One of the common themes that runs through each of these transitions is people becoming more aware of their mortality and feeling pressure from age-related expectations. By a certain age, people are expected to have achieved certain milestones, such as a secure career, a home, a spouse, and children. If you have not, you may experience feelings of midlife malaise.
Three Stages of Midlife Transition
There is no general rule of thumb regarding how individuals navigate through this period of life. It varies from person to person, but GoodTherapy suggests that these are the general stages that a person goes through:
1. Something happens that triggers anxiety about getting older. This could be a milestone birthday, the death of a loved one, a career change, or anything else that causes a person to reflect on their age or their life.
2. A person spends time in crisis. During this time, they may explore different identities, change relationships with loved ones, or seek new sources of meaning.
3. The person in crisis resolves the crisis through therapy, acceptance of life’s changes, regaining a sense of control, or any other strategy that makes life feel less overwhelming.
What To Do With Your Midlife Transition
If you feel like you are experiencing a midlife transition, there are some steps you can take to get yourself back on track:
Open Up About Your Emotions: Take time to acknowledge how you feel. It may also help to talk to a trusted friend or seek therapy for midlife transitions. Bottling up your emotions during this time isn’t helpful.
Take Life Inventory: This is an excellent time to take inventory of your life. Evaluate where you stand in all areas of your life, including career, relationships, faith, health, and any other important avenue. This will help you see where change is needed, and then you can create a plan.
Set New Goals: Whether you have hit certain milestones or not, this is a great time to set new goals for yourself. Goals give us purpose and something to work towards.
Midlife Transitions Are Opportunities for Growth
While transitioning through this time in life can be emotionally taxing, good things can arise. After taking inventory of your life, you can embark on a new journey. This is a time when you can set new goals for yourself. You can change careers. You can spice up your relationship. You can pursue the dreams you didn’t have the time or resources for. You can start a fitness journey. You can write that book. The options are endless for your reinvention.
